[Ava]We may not see a total societal eclipse of the heart, but when we awaken one soul, another awakens as well
[Music]: Don't fear the mystery. Don't fear the mystery. Don't fear the mystery. Don't fear the mystery. Mystery. Mystery.
[Jasper]Hi Ava.
[Ava]Hi Jasper.
[Jasper]What is this episode about?
[Ava]This is a Substack Roundup episode.
[Jasper] What is a Substack Roundup?
[Ava]It's some of our favorite pieces from Substack that we've written over the past few months in audio format in one long episode, so you can listen to them back to back.
[Jasper]Oh, awesome. I'm glad people can enjoy our substack even if they haven't subscribed.
[Ava] Yes! Even though I don't know why they wouldn't be subscribed, you can subscribe for free at queerconjuredsubstack.
[Jasper] Yeah. If you're listening and you haven't subscribed, what are you doing [Ava]honestly.
[Jasper]Alright, let's give it A listen. Here we go.
[Music] mystery
[Jasper] “Before its so-called birth, the flower already existed in other forms -- clouds, sunshine, seeds, soil, and many other elements.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“…and to her we shall return, like a drop of rain, flowing towards the ocean…”
~ lyrics from “we all come from the goddess”
Dear Queer Witches,
Those of us in the northern hemisphere are approaching Mabon, the Fall Equinox. Summer’s potent heat is beginning to surrender to Autumn’s crisp breeze. Mabon is ripe with Seven of Pentacles energy. We are invited to take inventory of what is ready to harvest, honor the progress we’ve made since Spring, and weed-out what hasn’t been working for us. We celebrate the setbacks that turned out to be blessings. It’s an opportunity for gratitude, without the colonial trappings of Thanksgiving. It’s an opportunity to celebrate our personal growth as well as the benefit that growth has given to our communities and ancestors.
This time of year is associated with Persephone’s descent to the underworld to reunite with her husband, Hades. In her absence the bounty of the fields recedes and the grief of her mother, Demeter, brings forth the colder months. Mabon is the gateway to darkness and the precursor for Samhain. The veils between worlds begin to thin and messages from ancestors become clearer, if we know how to listen.
It’s also time to start planning our costumes, jack-o-lanterns, and upgrading our ancestral altars. The time to celebrate our dead and designate time and space for grief will be here soon. Halloween/Samhain is my favorite time of year. I can’t help but get excited about it during Mabon. This is when I begin to prepare myself for ceremonies of death and darkness, along with rituals of whimsical shenanigans.
As a child, the Buddhist grown-ups in my life told me that, after someone dies in this life, their soul is reborn in a different body, moving on to the next life. The actions of their previous life dictate what/who they’re reborn as. It’s a common definition of reincarnation, albeit an overgeneralization of a highly nuanced philosophy.
Wiccans taught me a similar definition of reincarnation, with the addition of the Summerlands (a heaven-esque way station between lives) and the rule of three.
“Mind the Threefold Law you should, three times bad and three times good.”
Broadly (very broadly) meaning that if you do one good thing in this life, you will get three good things back in the next.
Presently, in my 40s, I’ve begun to think of the afterlife as a shapeshifting-soul-punch Which is a term I invented in a moment of levity, but not an original concept from yours truly. I’ll try to explain.
Imagine your body is a jar and your soul is a liquid concoction sloshing around as you go about your days. When you die, an ethereal pair of hands pop off your lid and pour your soul into a giant cosmic punch bowl. You’re no longer just you. You’ve become part of the soul-punch. You’ve returned to Source. This is the realm of the Temperance card, where celestial beings mix and measure the potions of alchemized souls, creating opportunities for fresh life and restored innocence. Eventually there is a ritual of ladling the punch into new vessels, creating new corporeal journeys on this Earth or perhaps somewhere else.
The shape-shifting-soul-punch theory honors what I’ve learned from Wicca and Buddhism in a deeply interconnected way. How and when a soul returns to life isn’t the result of one individual’s actions. We are all the result of collective Karma. It’s the bigger picture of “none of us are free until all of us are free”. We are all a part of each other, all the way down to our souls. As far as I’m concerned, the rule of three is a poetically simple (but technically incomprehensible) way of explaining that one little action on your part will have a ripple-out effect on all beings. And there’s no way to individually control what that effect will be.
Seven of Pentacles and Temperance both represent an opportunity to pause between two phases and two worlds. Temperance stands with one foot on earth and one foot in water. Seven of Pentacles shows us gardening tools, but they are set aside and not in use. Let this Mabon offer you an invitation to take stock of your personal growth. Where in your life did you succeed? Where did you fuck up? What is still useful and what needs to be left behind? What have you learned about how to do it differently next time? And most importantly, (and I really do want to know your answer) what is your Halloween costume going to be?
Blessed be
[Music] mystery
[Jasper]Queer greetings, witchy reader. How is your heart holding up during eclipse season? There’s always a lot of cautionary discussion around lunar eclipses within the magical and astrological communities. “Don’t try to manifest during a lunar eclipse”. “Don’t do rituals and spellwork during a lunar eclipse”. “Don’t make big decisions during a lunar eclipse”.
At the end of this post, you will find an illustrated page about lunar eclipses created by my dear friend xocean. It is from zir book A Visionary of Vessels.
I don’t always respect the power of lunar eclipses. Even as a professional witch and divination nerd, the warning labels around lunar eclipses are sometimes not enough for me to slow my roll. The witches and astrologers in my life have explained it to me countless times: Lunar eclipses evoke the more shadowy aspects of our beings. The repressed emotions and unhelpful patterns harbored in the subconscious begin to bubble, spill over, and potentially hijack our nervous systems. Alternatively, there is an opportunity to pause, witness oneself without judgement, and choose to embrace whatever depth is being revealed.
Tell me if this has ever happened to you: you’ve been sitting in one position for far too long. When you finally stand up you immediately plop to the ground as though your legs don’t even exist. You hadn’t realized that the way you were sitting limited blood flow and your legs had completely fallen asleep. That happened to me just moments ago, when I stood up from drafting this post. I began to stand up, then let out a shriek as I tumbled out of my chair and hit the floor with a thud. Bewildered and crumpled on the ground, nothing injured but my pride, I laughed. It felt like the perfect metaphor for what happens when you don’t respect a lunar eclipse.
When I consider the Lovers card, which is my soul card, I can see two parts of myself facing each other. The characters are always shifting. Sometimes it's a wounded inner child and an inner aging mother. Sometimes it’s an inner critic and a keeper of all the self-love I’ve curated towards myself. Whatever parts are present, they’re usually debating over what version of the current narrative is most aligned with facts. My higher self hovers overhead wondering who will win the debate and what might happen next. During a lunar eclipse, I can forget that these three beings are not separate. They are parts of me and I am the one who gets to choose what story to act upon.
The Moon card is often about facing one’s fears in order to be liberated from them. That doesn’t mean that we never have to deal with them again. It means that each time we cycle through the major arcana and face those shadowy creatures of the Moon, we have new skills available to weather the storm a little better than last time. When the Moon appears in reverse it might be pointing out that instead of being liberated from fear, we’ve been consumed by it. The Moon reversed is an invitation to slow down, breathe, count to three, and discern what is truly happening in the present moment.
At the beginning of this eclipse season, I fell into a destabilizing week of conflict and activated trauma responses. An old and very deep fear burst through my subconscious like a storm. The thunder drowned out all parts of myself that struggled to state the facts. My sympathetic nervous system flooded. The only thing I could focus on was escaping the danger at all costs. I couldn’t see that the danger I was trying to escape had ended twelve years ago. It took me days to recognize I was safe, the storm had moved on, and I could breathe. I’ve had this experience perhaps a thousand times, but this time was different for one important reason. For the first time ever, I was able to understand why my trauma believes that if someone I love is upset with me, my life is in danger. I am grateful to the eclipse for offering me such potent insight.
Lunar eclipses aren’t terrible. They’re just eclipses. But when you don’t respect their power and don’t stay grounded in the present moment, you’re probably going to fall on your ass. So take a deep breath, my love, and remember how fabulous you are. Acknowledge the parts of yourself who come forward and ask for space to heal. Be gentle with yourself when you get swept up in the storm. Storms pass, and the moon will light the way again.
Blessed be, mwah!
Jasper
[Music] mystery
[Jasper]: Here at Queer Conjure we strive to build community with other organizations in alignment with our liberation focused values. Firestorm Books is a queer, feminist, collectively owned radical bookstore that features books and events tailored to the interests and needs of marginalized communities. When you buy books from Firestorm using the referral code Queer Conjure you contribute 10 percent of your purchase to Queer Conjure's work and you get 10 percent off your order at checkout.
Click the link in our show notes to browse our recommended reading list and make sure to add ‘Tarot for the Hard Work’ by my dear friend, Maria Minnis, to your cart. You can thank me later.
[Maria Minnis]: Hi, I'm Maria Minnis, author of ‘Tarot for the Hard Work.’ I wrote this book because tarot has always been a powerful guide for introspection and inner work. So, what better tool to use when we're ready to do the really hard work? I provide actionable exercises in this tarot workbook, giving you a unique, personal understanding of what systemic racism is and what steps we can take to begin to dismantle it.
This is a book for anyone who has been overwhelmed, outraged, or frustrated and asked, but what can I do? When you buy my book through Queer Conjure's affiliate link, you support my biggest spell with the intention of creating a more equitable and loving world. Plus, you support an independent bookstore and this awesome podcast.
Bye!
[Music] mystery
[Ava]Ava here!
It isn't uncommon for me to get messages from loved ones, asking what an omen or synchronicity in their life means.I try to pay attention to the themes and messages surrounding the presence of certain symbols. When my brother messaged me asking about a bee infestation, I was quick to respond. He was up in the early hours getting ready to leave for a camping trip when a swarm of bees appeared in his friend's room. He said they seemingly appeared out of nowhere and were gone within a few hours. Immediately the message I heard was one of teamwork and a wish of sweetness in his upcoming trip.
When my brother returned from his trip, he retold the ins and outs of his adventure. One detail being that the friend whose room the bees had permeated had fallen short on his duties to the group. He lacked preparedness to function fully with the team. He forgot to check that, among other things, the tent he brought was working.
I reflected on how this related to the omen of the swarm of bees, how the actions of an individual are also a part of a collective, how we depend and rely on each other.
Later in the week after my brother’s return, I went on to understand this message on a personal level. I got the idea to fill the base of my candle with lavender flowers. I usually harvest them with care, making sure to prune the plant in a way to support their future growth rather than preventing it. This time I acted disembodied, floating my body over to the lavender, hands plucking off two or three heads. I didn't ask, I didn't look, I didn't give respect to the body which I was taking from, and I didnt check for any other lives exploring the surface of this green and purple creature. With a sharp stab in my pinky, the finger that reminds us to watch out for the little guy, the small bee became paralyzed as their soul left their body in a final sting.
I turned the lavender over in my palm to see the frozen bee floating on the tip of a petal. This creature traded their life for the message to pay attention. This small pain, a greater message: back up, slow down, and pay attention. It may be easy to foolishly take a small being's life, but it does not come without pain. The act of passion to deliver that message, to trade survival for a final blow, for a lesson. The sting, not unlike self immolation, a cause so worthy that the act of resistance is the equivalent of death.I was reminded of the unnamed protestor in Atlanta, of Matt Nelson, and Aaron Bushnell whose last words, "Free Palestine," ring heavy in the air still today.
Many humans fear bees deeply because of the possibility of their sting, bringing death to some. I didn't think of their sting when my brother asked me to translate their omen weeks ago. It occurred to me that maybe this is where the bravery of the sting comes from, their reliance on the community. The sting is not for one's own life, but for the sake of their species.
To be a part of a team, and part of a family, seeing the life of the being next to you as valuable as your own, and viewing your own life as being worthy of such a connection. This is the word of the bee. The lesson that all of us are one village, that the murder and pain inflicted on our innocent siblings will not be met without a sting.
That bundle of lavender made its way to the base of my candle, little bee still preserved atop the last glass of nectar they were enjoying, until it vanished. Probably carried off by the wind. Their memory sticks with me, though. It can feel like our actions don’t matter. How we can put all our intentions into harmony and understanding and still be grabbed by the metaphorical hand, unaware of the lives around us. We may not see a total societal eclipse of the heart, but when we awaken one soul, another awakens as well.
One of the first creation rituals I learned was accompanied by the phrase “set it and forget it.” It implies the same concept as the saying “a watched pot never boils” as do a million other parables. Our actions function as a small part of the greater spirals interconnecting us all, and in a round-about way, I feel the bee is telling us to keep going. Don’t give up just because the plan didn't go exactly as imagined, you may never know the huge impact you have on the lives around you.
[Music] Mystery
[Ava]Hi Queer Witches
How are you feeling?
What do you feel in your body right now? Take a moment to feel whether or not you're in your body. Maybe take a deep breath into the base of your spine. If your body feels too overwhelmed maybe a fidget toy, soothing taps, or small movements may be nice.
As October rounds to an end and Samhain approaches, I want to hold space for death. This year has been overflowing with the energy of endings, which can feel extremely jarring. In the west, we usually have a repulsion towards endings, causing many of us to have challenging relationships with grief. My hope is that Queer Conjure is a space that lives in harmony with your whole being. This starts with asking permission from your body, are you ready to feel into some painful stuff?
Many of you know that the QC team was directly affected by Hurricane Helene in the Appalachians. Two of the three of our members had homes in those sacred mountains, and the third (me!) lived in Asheville previously. I joined the QC family when I lived there last, so witnessing the destruction and loss was extremely tragic for us all. We have spent the past few weeks recuperating, delivering aid, donating, getting in contact with loved ones, and grieving. Unfortunately, this was just one major loss in the wake of a tragic year. When I feel into tragedy, I like to locate my nearest hope float to keep from getting lost in doom.
Where do you collect your hope in times of crisis? For some the answer comes quickly, others it may be a question to sit with. It changes for me all the time. Recently, I've been finding solace in the duality of endings. The harvest. When you harvest a fruit or plant, it stops growing, begins to decay, and it eventually dies. The fruit of most plants are born to be eaten, carrying the seeds to a new world, regenerating the life from which it came. The process is not the same for leafy beings.
As the frost rolls with the changing season, I've been harvesting bundles of fresh herbs to dry for the winter. Sage, oregano, thyme, rosemary, bay leaves, and lavender hang around my kitchen, filling the home with their dying breath. When you prune a plant to its roots, there's no knowing how or if the plant will grow back in the next season. In fact, there's never assurance of the life of any being. The dried leaves hold the mere essence of flavor and scent compared to their fresh living bodies. A reminder of the summer fills my kitchen in abundance. It's funny how I would frugally pick a leaf or two in the warmer months, not wanting to interrupt the photosynthesis taking place. Now their hard work is preserved, and I toss handfuls of ancient light into the seasonal gourds of winter.
What the harvest has taught me is the strength and perseverance rooted in relishing the light when it's around, and recalling its memory once it is gone. Death is a part of our existence and grief accompanies us in the absence of lives lost, but the memory and essence of life can hold us in this grief. Our willingness to nurture new life in spite of its inevitable end is strength. We will overcome and adapt with the life that comes anew.
P. S. This original post has a link to a fun, spooky, autumnal playlist for you. Hope you enjoy. Blessed be.
[Music] mystery
[Hailey]Hi Queer Witches! Hailey here!
As most of y’all know, Hurricane Helene devastated Western North Carolina and Asheville in particular. Thankfully, I was not injured nor was my apartment touched by the floods or downed trees. I am extremely grateful for this but there is still a lot of shock and grief that I am experiencing.
For the first couple of days, I didn’t realize how bad the storm was. I don’t have reliable transportation so I wasn't able to go outside of my apartment complex. Upon leaving, I saw the destruction that the hurricane caused and began to understand how it affected those around me. No one had power or water and many lost their homes to the floods.
For me, a lot of the grief is coming from the loss of culture that Asheville has suffered. The River Arts District, a space for creatives and artists to share their work, was almost completely destroyed. Towns like Chimney Rock and Swannanoa suffered extreme loss of both people and infrastructure.
We will never be the same and these communities will never be the same.
In this time, I have reflected on the long lasting effects that New Orleans suffered in the aftermath of Katrina. They are still recovering from it almost 20 years later. This has also given me time to think about the fact that change, and disaster in this case, gives rise to new opportunities. New people will come to assist and stay here and help grow our community. This doesn’t mean it will be easy but there is always beauty in the new. As the grief and shock slowly fades, we will come together and be stronger.
I feel as though this is the human condition. Growing from change and working to make a better future for ourselves and our community.
One of the days I was wandering around my apartment complex and I heard someone say “I’m only 26 and I’m tired of living through multiple ‘once in a lifetime’ events.” I didn’t feel like I could relate to anything more at that moment. I know myself, my community, and anyone else struggling through these times will come out on the other side stronger than we’ve ever been.
My wishes are with my community and with all of y’all. Have a wonderful day and thanks for reading!
[Music]: Don't fear the mystery. Don't fear the mystery. Don't fear the mystery. Don't fear the mystery. Mystery. Mystery.
[Jasper]What is a Substack Roundup?
[Ava] It's some of our favorite bits and pieces, um, actually, it's some of our favorite, uh, hold on
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